C h e e z B o y  




CHEESE BOY . . .

THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE . . .

CHEESE BOY



That's what Tania said to Tony

Cut 'im down to size

He worked at the Velveeta plant

With other cheesy guys



Cheese Boy was such an innocent fuck

Tania thought, at least after Chuck

Who'd stolen her cash, who stole her car

and even her cigarettes, which were low tar



Tania served cocktails to drooling old men

with beer bellies, out on Route Ten

She was lonely after leavin' Chuck

Even though he'd left her less than a buck







One night Tony dropped in

With Velveeta drippin' down his chin

Still, Tania found him cute, in a wacky way

And he moved in, the very next day



LATER:

"What a loser he's turned out to be"

Tania told her best friend Lee

"Dump that Cheese Boy," GirlFriend said

"He's no good for nothin,' he can't be good in bed"



See, they didn't know about Crisco Man

A Big Brother who carried 'round a Crisco Can

Who craved Tony when he was but a teen

Greasin' and probin' that boy, so tight and lean!



Crisco Man left Tony in pleasure and pain

That was forever tattooed onto that tender brain

He never finished high school, goin' straight to work instead

And became a Cheese Boy, prob'ly 'til he's dead








CHEESE BOY. . .

THAT'S ALL YOU'LL EVER BE . . .

CHEESE BOY


That's what Tania said to Tony

The night she threw him out

He moved into a rusting Buick parked in a pond of trout



Now Tony's nights are filled with beer

Followed by shots of EverClear

In that Buick, he dreams his wish

And masturbates, with a fish



CHEESE BOY FISHES,

CHEESE BOY DRINKS

CHEESE BOY FREAKS,

CHEESE BOY THINKS,

CHEESE BOY CUMS,

AND THEN HE CRIES

CHEESE BOY WORKS,

CHEESE BOY DIES!






© 1 9 9 3, M a r k H ä n s e r / M a g i c a l T h i n k i n g M u s i c

a l l r i g h t s r e s e r v ' d