Gonna Fix Their Wagon (Gonna Fix It Good!)
 
 
 
 

 
Hell Satanic® logo courtesy of Young Clay and 1-900 Productions




If you're calling from a touch*tone ass*hole . . .
Please press the star*key now . . .


That telephone company
really turns my stomach
yes it does
their goddam -- Goddam! Goddam!
touchtone beeping
insincerity creeping


Corporate whores
so-called rate wars
HA! I laugh!
like a goddam hyena -- Goddam! Goddam!
Change area codes, charge me more
Monopoly mamajama! I'll settle some scores!


I'm gonna fix their wagon
gonna fix it good
'Cause I'm gonna get me
a whole lotta wood


I'm gonna burn down the phone company
yeah, it's gonna be sweet
'Cause they're gonna learn a lesson
yeah, a lesson in heat!


I'm bell-hoppin' mad! As red as a beet!
As frosted as a flake, a l'il Mini-Wheat
¨ You're the one for me, New England?
That's right -- Bitch!
now sing: "New England Telephone!®"
Then you're gobbled up by Gotham --
sing again:
"NYNEX®"
"NYNEX®"


And now you know where the wild things are
Does seducing Sendak make you a star?
"Bell Atlantic Mobile®"
"Bell Atlantic Mobile®"
That's right! That's right!
"Bell Atlantic®"
"Bell Atlantic®"


Will Darth Vader now say
you serve a galaxy far, far away?
That's right! That's right!
"Bell Atlantic®"
"Bell Atlantic®"
That's right! That's right!
"Bell Atlantic®" -- Slut!

 
 
 

 
 
 
I'm bell-hoppin' mad!
So very steamed
corporate AmeriKKKa's gotta be creamed!


I'm gonna fix their wagon
gonna fix it good
'Cause I'm gonna get me
a whole lotta wood


I'm gonna burn down the phone company
yeah, it's gonna be sweet
'Cause they're gonna learn a lesson
yeah, a lesson in heat!


What happened to deregulation?
the baby bells are a bully nation
They are! They are -- Oh yes, they are!
Your goddam shareholders
are goddam strangleholders -- Goddam! Goddam!
I signed up with so-called NYNEX®
N'that's to who I'll make out the checks


You think you can force me
just 'cause you can't divorce me?
HA! I laugh!
like a goddam hyena --Goddam! Goddam!
William Jennings Bryan, where are you now?
Nail your cross of gold into this crass cash cow


I'm gonna fix their wagon
gonna fix it good
'Cause I'm gonna get me
a whole lotta wood


I'm gonna burn down the phone company
yeah, it's gonna be sweet
'Cause they're gonna learn a lesson
yeah, a lesson in heat!


James Earl Jones, serve them well
serve your precious Bell Atlantic®
serve them in Hell!


I'm gonna fix their wagon
gonna fix it good
'Cause I'm gonna get me
a whole lotta wood


I'm gonna burn down the phone company
yeah, it's gonna be sweet
'Cause they're gonna learn a lesson
yeah, a lesson in heat!

 
 
 

© 1 9 9 8, M a r k H ä n s e r / M a g i c a l T h i n k i n g M u s i c

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